Golden Globes 2026: Funniest jokes as delivered by Fran Drescher, Nikki Glaser, George Clooney and more

It featured Fran Drescher’s intolerable vocal tones, George Clooney getting upstaged, and host Nikki Glaser unleashing her comedic fury on the Hollywood friends she made while hosting last year.

Here are the best jokes, skits and one-liners delivered at the 2026 Golden Globes.

Nikki Glaser’s opening monologue

Leo DiCaprio

“Countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director. You’ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar, and the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.

“It’s just insane.”

George Clooney

“I know this is unprofessional.

“My Nespresso has been coming out kind of watery. I’m wondering is it a pod issue or do you think it might be the filter? Can you troubleshoot it for me?”

The Rock and Kevin Hart

“You (Hart) and the Rock together are my favourite comedy duo. You’re like Steve Martin and Martin Short for people under 50... IQ. We need movies too!”

Timothee Chalamet

“Not a lot of people know this, but Timothée Chalamet is the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong.

“He gained over 60 ounces.”

Sean Penn

“A lot of actors talk the talk, but Sean Penn will actually go to the places in the world that need help the most, and he will do cocaine there.

“I feel we don’t celebrate that enough.

“Sean, I did get permission to tell that joke from your two best friends. Charlie Sheen and El Chapo.”

Rose Byrne wins Best Female Actor – Motion Picture and explains bizarre reason for husband’s absence

“I wanna thank my husband, Bobby Cannavale, who couldn’t be here because we’re getting a bearded dragon and he went to a reptile expo in New Jersey.”

Sean Hayes and Will Arnett pile into Jason Bateman while presenting Best Female Actor – Television – Musical/Comedy

“I think you’re great, I loved Ozark,” Hayes says after the announcers express their distaste for Bateman.

“What was it about?” Bateman asks.

Hayes: “It was about three seasons too long.”

Don Cheadle reminds George Clooney of his age while presenting Best Picture – Drama

“Timothee (Chalamet), how old are you, 30 years old? He was three the last time you (George) won,” Cheadle riffs.

Slapping his pal Clooney on the behind, Cheadle concludes: “Kock’em dead, Batman”.

Heated Rivalry stars Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie undress the crowd while presenting Best Supporting Actor — TV Series

“It’s a little nerve-wracking being at our first Golden Globes,” Storrie stutters.

Williams winks, “Picture everyone in the audience... you know”.

“I don’t really know if that works, considering everyone’s seen us... you know,” Storrie retorts.

Seth Rogen gloats over win for Best Male Actor – Television – Musical/Comedy to nominees Martin Short and Steve Martin

“Steven Martin and Martin Short especially, I remember growing up watching you guys my whole life, thinking one day I’m gonna beat them...

“I did not think that.”

Judd Apatow recalls a young Nikki Glaser while presenting Best Director — Motion Picture

“Did you know Nikki Glaser used to be our babysitter, that’s true, she was our babysitter and she’s like, ‘I do standup comedy’.

“And then I went online and watched her set, and it was all about smoking reefer and having weird sex and then... she stopped being our babysitter.”

Fran Drescher interrupts Nikki Glaser’s musical take on K-Pop Demon Hunter’s Golden

“Sweetie, you know I love you but you have to stop singing, your voice is so annoying!” Drescher cries.

“That means so much coming from you,” Glaser responds.